 Wysłany: Śro 14:14, 16 Lut 2011 Temat postu: nevercouldIcountuponaninstant'ssecurity |
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| formenewdistress.RestIhadnone;re-
liefIhadnone:nevercouldIcountuponaninstant'ssecurity;never couldIwrapmyselfintheshroudofoblivion.TheminutesinwhichI didnotactuallyperceivehimwerecontaminatedandblastedwiththe certainexpectationofhisspeedyinterference.InmyfirstretreatIhad passedafewweeksofdelusivetranquillitybutneverafterwasIhappy enoughtoattaintosomuchasthatshadowygratification.Ispentsome yearsinthisdreadfulvicissitudeofpain.Mysensationsatcertainperi- ods amounted to insanity. IpursuedineverysucceedinginstancetheconductIhadadoptedat first.Ideterminednevertoenterintoacontestofaccusationanddefence withtheexecrableGines.IfIcouldhavesubmittedtoitinotherrespects whatpurposewoulditanswer?Ishouldhavebutanimperfectandmu- tilatedstorytotell.Thisstoryhadsucceededwithpersonsalreadypre- possessedinmyfavourbypersonalintercourse;butcoulditsucceed withstrangers?IthadsucceededsolongasIwasabletohidemyself frommypursuers;butcoulditsucceednowthatthisappearedimprac- ticableandthattheyproceededbyarmingagainstmeawholevicinity at once? Itisinconceivablethemischiefsthatthiskindofexistenceincluded. WhyshouldIinsistuponsuchaggravationsashungerbeggaryandex- ternalwretchedness?Thesewereaninevitableconsequence.Itwasby thedesertionofmankindthati cheap brand trainers |
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